


promise me

by orphan_account



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Swearing, it switches between chan and jeongin’s pov, i’m so sorry jeongin, i’m so sorry minho, i’m sorry for this entire fic, jaebum is briefly mentioned, jeongin likes knives, this has been in my notes forever, traumatic childhood, very angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:27:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22252570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: jeongin promised chan he wouldn’t touch a knife ever again
Kudos: 6





	promise me

”promise me you won’t touch a knife again.” i told jeongin.

”but why? i don’t see anything wrong with it..” he replied. i sighed. ”you could hurt someone or yourself with it!” i raised my voice and saw how jeongin’s eyes filled with tears. ”channie is mean!” he screeched and ran away. i sighed and looked down. i certainly felt like i had failed as jeongin’s guardian. i was supposed to help him understand what was dangerous and what wasn’t. i wasn’t supposed to get him addicted to everything that was dangerous. 

that boy has the mindset of a child. he doesn’t understand. maybe losing his mother at a young age due to an abusive father corrupted him to think that using violence is the right thing. 

”chan”, i heard woojin say. i snapped out of my thoughts and turned to look at him. ”that’s me”, i said. woojin sighed. ”chan, you haven’t been yourself lately. is something bothering you?” he asked. i sighed. ”just.. jeongin. i’m scared he’ll end up hurting himself or someone else. woojin, he doesn’t understand!” i said. woojin put a hand on my shoulder. ”i know it’s stressful.. but you just have to keep on trying”, he said and smiled sadly. ”woojin, i’ve tried for twelve years. twelve years and what does he grow up into?” i sighed. woojin looked at me. ”chan. you’ve tried your best, and that’s what matters!” he said and hugged me. i hugged him back and broke down in tears. woojin patted my back. ”shhh.. chan, it’s okay..” he said.

it was at that moment i heard a loud crash and yelling from upstairs. woojin stopped hugging me and turned to look at the stairs. felix came running down the stairs, hand bleeding.

”jesus christ felix, what happened? why is your hand bleeding?!” woojin screeched. felix looked at him. ”jeongin is running around with a knife!” he said. i flinched. ”woojin, go patch felix up. i’ll go talk with jeongin.” i said and ran upstairs.

”yang jeongin, stop right now!” i yelled when i saw jeongin almost stabbing minho, our newest caretaker, with a knife. jeongin turned to look at me.

”put that knife away right now!” i yelled. jeongin hesitated, but set the knife aside. he released minho from his grip and instantly fell down on the floor, breaking down into tears. minho let out the breath he was holding and shook all of his limbs a bit.

”jeongin, you do understand that this is wrong, don’t you?” i asked him. jeongin looked at me from the floor. ”no? why is it so bad? dad did it too, why can’t i?” he asked with a slight stutter.

”jeongin.. your dad wasn’t doing the right things. he was sick.. insane..” i said. jeongin blinked. ”what’s so wrong with it?” he asked. i felt tears filling up my eyes. i had failed to educate jeongin on why running with knives and trying to actively kill everyone is wrong.

”jeongin, let’s go.” i said and grabbed his hand. jeongin stood up, holding on my hand. ”no!” he screeched. i sighed and proceeded to pick him up. ”when i say we’re going then we’re going!” i shouted and carried jeongin to his room.

i took away everything jeongin could use to hurt himself from his room and locked the door. i sighed as i looked at all of the knives and blades i had in my hands. i walked downstairs to the office and put the weapons into a locked cabinet full of things confiscated by the staff here. i noticed a lot of pills, which i knew used to belong to changbin, and sighed. he had tried overdosing again before someone had noticed. i decided to not think about it any longer and locked the cabinet. i had jeongin to take care of after all. woojin was assigned as changbin’s new guardian after jaebum quit. i’m glad he did a good job at preventing him.

i saw minho walking to the office with felix. i looked confused.

”what’s going on?” i asked minho as he opened the door. ”what’s felix doing here? he isn’t supposed to be here!” i said. ”i’m giving him back his phone. his phone ban has ended!” minho smiled and opened the cabinet with his key. i smiled and nodded. ”felix, remember what i said and you can keep your phone. if you break the rules, we will take it away again.” minho then said. felix nodded. ”i will! thank you!” he said and ran away. minho chuckled a bit and then proceeded to lock the cabinet.

”minho, i kinda wanna talk about what happened before with jeongin..” i said. minho nodded. ”of course. what do you need to know?” he said.

”how often does it happen? how often is he violent towards you?” i asked. minho thought for a moment. ”well he does it once every week. almost always when i bring him his clean laundry..” he sighed. i nodded. ”i wonder why it’s you of all people. you have the least contact with him..” i sighed. minho looked at me. ”well.. maybe he sees me as a threat because of that.. i don’t know. i’ve heard him talking about hurting the other kids too though. you know.. like today he hurt felix. he’s talked about hurting everyone.” minho said. i nodded. ”i know. as his assigned guardian i talk with him a lot.”

-

”fuck you!” i yelled and punched the wall. ”fuck! fuck! fuck chan! fuck everything! fuck minho and fuck this whole fucking place!” i kept yelling.

”can you shut the fuck up?!” changbin yelled from the room next to me. the walls were very thin. ”i know you’re going through some shit but i don’t want to hear it every fucking time!” he kept yelling.

”well fuck you too!” i yelled.

”no wonder nobody fucking likes you, you asshat!” changbin yelled back and then went quiet. i felt tears coming out of my eyes. ”i’m sorry..” i said quietly and curled up into a ball. i heard a slam of a door followed by stomping and then the whole hallway went quiet once again.

it wasn’t long until i heard a knock at the door. i didn’t say anything, so i heard a key turning in the lock followed by the sound of the door opening.

”jeongin.. changbin came storming out of his room and came to tell me that you had one of those fits again..” i heard woojin say. ”do you want to talk about them? chan isn’t here right now but i can listen to whatever you have to say.” he continued. i lifted my head up to look at him. ”woojin, i’ll die. i’ll die and never come back. i-i’ll die, i’ll die.” i managed to say. ”i-i’m scared..”

”scared of what?” woojin asked. ”scared of myself!” i yelled. more tears flowed out of my eyes. woojin walked closer to me, closing the door behind himself. ”jeongin.. can i hug you?” he asked. i hesitated but nodded. ”p-please.”

woojin hugged me. his hugs were completely different to chan’s. chan’s hugs were gentle yet i felt protected by myself in arms. woojin’s hug was also gentle but he also held tighter. like i’d imagine a bear’s hug being like. i felt protected but i also felt the urge to stab woojin. i stared to cry and punched woojin’s chest weakly.

”what was that for?” woojin asked. i looked at him. ”i-i don’t know, i just got an urge to do that! help me! woojin hyung, help me!” i cried.

”wait here jeongin, i’ll get help..” woojin said and walked out of my room.

-

”chan, jeongin had a breakdown while you were away. just thought you’d want to know.” woojin told me as soon as i opened the front door. ”oh. is he okay? did he hurt anyone?” i asked. woojin nodded. ”yes to both. he’s fine. and he hit me as i was comforting him. he said it was an urge.” he said. i nodded. ”do you think he’ll manage alone? should i go check on him?” i asked. woojin looked at me. ”i think it’s best if you do check on him.. the last thing he told me was to get him some help.” he said. i nodded. ”i’ll go check on him then.”

-

i walked up the stairs to jeongin’s room. i knocked on the door but no one answered.

”jeongin? you okay?” i asked before i took my keys and unlocked the door, which unlocked and opened. no one was in the room. i gasped. ”jeongin?!” i looked around but found nobody. i ran out of the room. i ran and ran until i was eventually stopped by changbin. ”geez chan, where are you going? i’ve never seen you run this fast” he said. i looked at him. ”do you know where jeongin is? he isn’t in his room.”

changbin looked around. ”i really don’t know. go check the bathrooms maybe?” he said. ”thanks. i’ll go do that!”

i ran towards a bathroom. before opening the door i let out a sigh.

when i opened the door a horrifying sight greeted me. i saw what seemed like a murder-suicide except both of the people involved were alive.

”what the fuck happened here?! jeongin, did you do this? how did you get a knife?” i asked. i had so many questions to ask. jeongin just looked at me and dropped his bloody knife on minho’s leg. ”channie hyung, why did you come here? why do you care about me?” he asked. i looked at him. and then i looked at minho, who was crying and full of cuts and bruises. i took my phone and dialed 911.

-

i looked at the noose i had hanging from the roof. i chuckled, put the noose around my neck and kicked the small platform i was standing on away.

-

as soon as i opened the door to jeongin’s room, i regretted it. i saw him hanging from the ceiling. i saw his lifeless body. i closed the door.

i walked downstairs holding back my tears. woojin looked worried, holding felix close to him. it had been a week since minho left. a week since jeongin broke down.

”j-jeongin hung himself.” i managed to say. 

”i-i’ve failed. i failed. it’s my fault. i’m sorry.”


End file.
